December 3, 2009
“The primary requisite for writing well about food is a good appetite."-- A. J. Liebling
The ad read: "Seeking an online writer with passion for food. Freelance job. Apply online."
Then the error message popped up on my screen: "Sorry, this job is no longer available. Position filled. "
Blip. Gone, just like that from my computer screen. Of course, the fact that it disappeared could be pilot error, but we won't go there.
Back to the ad. The advertised job was for an online food writer who could produce something akin to a writing sample the company offered as an example.
The ad queried, "Can you replicate this excerpt about luscious Italian cuisine as described in the novel, The Wedding Officer by Anthony Capella." The job requirements seemed simple enough: write with passion about food. That's it.
How hard could it be, I wondered. I love food; I love to eat.
All one needs is a hungry penchant for eating, tasting, cooking or writing about food. Sounds like the perfect gig, but if you are buying that premise, then I challenge you to give it a try. Not as easy as it sounds.
Here is the passage from the novel that an applicant must duplicate, in one's own words, of course:
"What's this? Horris asked."
"Melanzane alla parmigiana. It's a typical Neapolitan dish. There was a short silence..."
"Well, I don't want to give offense. I'll just have a taste..."
"As he spooned some onto his plate the smell of eggplant, baked in layers with tomato, garlic and herbs and topped with grilled cheese, filled the room. He dipped his fork into the layers of eggplant and cheese. Moments later, it seemed to detonate in his mouth. The pasta, he now realized, had simply been a curtain raiser...to take the edge off his hunger, but this new dish was something else, teasing his appetite awake again...The cheese tasted so completely of cheese, the eggplant so rich and earthy, almost smoky; the herbs so full of flavor...He paused reverently...then dug again with his fork."
Sigh.
I am no longer enamored with writing about food. Who can write like that anyway? It sounds like a dime-store novel to me.
After all as George Bernard Shaw once said, "There is no love sincerer than the love of food."
I'll stick with the eating. Pass the pasta and the fresh Parmesan please.
